Christian Dating or Marriage Gone Wrong
Can a bad relationship hurt you even though you know that something had to change or it had to end?
Yes
Can a Christian significant other or spouse hurt you?
Yes, just because you are a believer and your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is a believer, that doesn’t mean that they cannot hurt you. Yeshua said that in this world you will have many troubles. You can pray for your situation and make the best of it. Dating or marrying a Christian doesn’t guarantee a life free from pain and hurts. Sometimes, the hurt might be worse when dating or married to a Christian. If you are too overwhelmed to deal with it by yourself with God, and your circle of friends and/family, you can get a counselor/therapist to walk you through it.
Does waiting and praying for your spouse guarantee a good relationship or marriage ahead?
No, sometimes things we prayed and waited for can just go wrong. The devil never desires for Christians to have a peace of mind, let alone a peaceful home and family. He will literally attack your relationship or family; and most of the time we are caught of guard. A relationship takes two people, a man, woman and God. If both of you, even just one of you becomes shaken on faith and works; that will affect your relationship depending on the degree of the issues. That could be totally devastating for something that you have longed for, prayed for and worked on diligently to make sure you make the right choice, decisions and do your best. At the core of every Christian relationship, there must be love, and love is God. You just have to remember to surrender those situations to God, whether or not they become fixed or not; other or not you separate/break-up/divorce. There is no easy way to get around a break-up/separation/divorce even for Christians. Loving Yeshua doesn’t make you immune from the cares of this life, because you are still in the world; even though Yeshua (Jesus) says you are not of this world if you are a believer. While in this world, Yeshua felt the greatest pain because of our sins. You just have to lean on him, when the sins of this world get into your relationship; and allow him, one who knows all pain, to carry you through it. You can forgive, and still feel pain, failure and disappointment; but either way, you should forgive yourself and the other person; and do your best to face each next day. It is devastating if things never get back together, but sometimes they do; yet even if they don’t and you lose your relationship with that person in this life; you should still love and forgive yourself and/ that person depending on what happened. What matters is to know what you did your best, or that you begin to do your best with the current situation, because you can never go back. Sometimes, even going back, wasn’t going to fix anything; because you were already doing your very best. Just remember that you are two different people. A relationship or marriage cannot work unless two people agree and put in the prayers and work to help it grow and continue healthily.
Is there something wrong with me if I feel sad and pain?
Not necessarily, but you can get a therapist if you thing you need an assessment if the pain is excessive and the sadness is significantly affecting your life and productivity. Sadness and pain happen more often that we could admit on our social media; I mean, you can tell that by the number of sad and broken heart love songs that become more popular even more than church worship music. We all have some level or sadness and pain from loss or other situations, even from what we witnessed as kids and went through at times. What’s important to know is that you are never alone. Yeshua understands this. Yeshua was called a man of sorrows for a reason. When Handel and other major people wrote the best classical songs that are still played today, they were in a place of sorrow and rejection.
Why did I get rejected by one I love and shared love with?
Sometimes people just change or just have a change of heart. Sometimes people are broken in ways we cannot understand or fix no matter how much we try; they might just not have the ability to hold on or love through it all or yet; they might have other desires or feelings that makes them (become) blind to the relationship you shared. It might be okay for some people to explore new things; but it’s against your values and Christian principles to give up on them. A lot of times we blame ourselves for what other people feel or begin to feel about us, the relationship, their choice to be with us in the first place; but that can’t be our fault. Self blame is common when things don’t workout as we hoped and thought. Some times people leave because they began to lust for other people, but that isn’t our doing. They are going to have to walk through the journey and consequences of their choices. We can’t control other people’s feelings and actions.
Yeshua was broken hearted too. He was rejected by ones he loved, all of us and at one point, his worst point, all his disciples and apostles were so afraid and they denied him, Peter denied him. So imagine, someone you loved and shared such an intimate relationship with, even deeper than friendship and with friendship added hurting you. That is painful. Human beings are unpredictable. Even Yeshua couldn’t keep his twelve together; but He did what He had to do. The most painful part of life is to realize that, when push comes to shove, you have to do things by yourself with God by your side, no matter how much time and energy you invested in partnership of love, relationship/marriage. Your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance/fiancee, husband or wife can just take off and move on or just go on to a life without you. That rejection is undeniably painful, when you have made sacrifices to make things work out for both of you and even with your kids if you have kids. Nobody is immune to pain. You can be a pastor, praise team leader, Christian celebrity, regular church member or just one that loves Yeshua in your own way, and go through rejection you don’t understand. Hang in there. Somewhere there, Yeshua that is or that should have been first or is still first in our lives, will rescue our hearts, minds, bodies and souls. When you are the weakest, God is the strongest, even if you don’t feel like he is there and doing anything; even if you feel like you keep falling. One day, you will realize that He carried you through the most devastating situation(s).